If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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