I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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