You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
