I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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