I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
