I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
