"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize