her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
