He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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