I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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