oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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