hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
