Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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