Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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