hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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