you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
