literally had 100 drinks last night.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
