eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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