yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
