Having a random hookup so left but love u
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize