I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
