Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she told me i tasted like america
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
