hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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