so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
