I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she pinky promised me she was 18
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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