I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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