get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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