why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize