so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
