Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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