Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
