just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
