And the cops told us we were all naked.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
