Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
