he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
