i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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