If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
