I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
