so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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