i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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