Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
