If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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