So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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