Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
