speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did I show you my penis last night?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
