Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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