Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize