Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize