69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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