here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
