I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
