Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
