Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
