So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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