Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
